I'm just going to hop straight into this one..
I feel the FOMO all the time. The Fear Of Missing Out. I feel it about friends I don’t have, events I wasn’t invited to, celebrations I just couldn’t make. I feel FOMO about others' achievements. Milestones. You name it, I feel the FOMO for it. I guess, in some ways, the only thing I’m NOT missing out on is the feeling of FOMO.
I’ve had a few close people to me talk about the feeling of FOMO, asking for advice, and all I could tell them was, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!”
The more I saw this topic breached, as a few weeks rolled on— I never came up with an answer, but I did come up with a response:
Friend,
We all feel the FOMO. If, as humans, we are created for community, we can feel the missing out of community happening outside of us. Outside of our timetables and obligations. If we long for relationship the way that we’re made to crave it, FOMO is a part of the gig. Ideally, we ‘stay in our own lanes’ and keep our heads down while we work to achieve our individual goals, but there is not fool proof answer or cure to the FOMO you feel. Whether you’re feeling the regret-side, wishing you wouldn’t have left that job, leaving your coworkers behind.. Or if you feel the absolute loneliness-side where you’re in between friend-groups, not quite finding a home in any of the circles you’re a part of. Those things where you miss out can be tough. Major FOMO.
That FOMO can only be remedied at all through acknowledgement, action, and acceptance. Acknowledge that feeling- it’s human. Give yourself grace to feel that. You are not crazy for feeling that way. Accept that you feel that way. And I’ve got a few ways you can Act on the FOMO:
1. Be the intentional friend you wish you had. Invite people over. You initiate the hangout around your schedule. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. FaceTime the friend you miss. When you think of someone, reach out. Send a card. Ask a question! When you make people feel valued and seen, it’s a great way for you to feel seen, too!
2. Get busy. Pick up a book or a hobby! Find something to keep your hands busy (and away from your phone and socials). Getting lost in your own thing is a great way to take your mind off the FOMO.
Okay, these are not fool-proof. These cannot solve your FOMO, and I’m sorry I don’t have full-out answers. But if it helps to know, you aren’t alone.
If you’re traveling abroad, building your career, or stuck between friend-groups and distance between you, you’re not alone! We all get the Fear of Missing Out.
If you want to hear more, there's a podcast where Shawn and I talk way more than I could ever type out for you. Check The Edit Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.