Life, Lemons & A Crisis of Belief
Updated: Oct 25, 2019
Let's get real for a second. By the time you read this, it'll obviously be posted, but I just really need you to know that I'm winging this post right now-- if that even matters to anyone besides me-- there wasn't an outline to it, and I just let the words paint their own little picture. I haven't posted since the Miss Mississippi USA pageant (spoiler alert: I didn't get the shiny hat). But to cut a long story short, I got something a little different than a crown and a banner, and this post will close that chapter up for everyone, including me.
Okay, so without getting too mystic, I'll tell you that it was a very clear message that God didn't have an actual USA state crown in my plans, but the journey of pageantry has been something that made my path and journey and "destiny" very clear. I have still been called to approach the throne with confidence, but this time I am called to do it without a crown. (and that is totally fine with me because that was going to be a year of a lot of lashes, high heels and color incorporated to my daily wardrobe).
My Granny gave me a series of cards, the last of these I opened right before I went on stage for final night, though, and it incorporated that age-old saying about being positive when life gives you lemons in case the crown didn't end up on my head (which it didn't). I didn't end up with the title, but something that I did end up with is an incredible passion for people and confidence in my own skin. I'm a communication major with a blog, so I feel like loving people is an integral part of my personality. A dream of mine, since I love meeting and talking to people so much, is that they would love to meet and talk to me, too! That was the motive for chasing the crown: to be able to reach new people, different people and similar people to myself, and make a difference in their lives. Crazy, I know. After all, who actually wants to be accepted in this great big world?
Me. That's who, if we're being honest. And there, my friends, lies my crisis of belief. What do I do when I feel like I'm supposed to love and encourage and lead people when a panel of judges don't deem me worthy to do that for the state of Mississippi? I'll tell you! I believe a Much Higher Power who deems me worthy. Finding worth there, and creating that leadership and opportunity on my own (with The Good Lord's Blessing), has been much more rewarding. Maybe I couldn't have been a good Miss Mississippi USA, but I know I make a stellar me. (oh my goodness, I would delete that cheesy line right now if i didn't mean it so strongly).
So here we go. I revamped and added to the blog, and I'm excited to share more of myself with everyone who does care to follow and chat with me. Browse the blog, and look at some things going on in my life. It's no less hectic than before, but I do have slightly happier feet...
..and I'll just sip my lemonade with that one.