We’ve all heard it before: “You can’t make real friends online.” Well, I’m here to tell you, that’s a lie. In fact, some of my most meaningful friendships have started with nothing more than a DM or a comment on a post (re: my own husband!). If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that online friends aren’t “real” friends, I could probably retire early—and laugh with all my internet besties as we sip virtual cocktails over Zoom.
So, how do you build meaningful friendships in a world where most interactions happen through screens and Wi-Fi signals? Spoiler: it’s totally possible, and it’s often more rewarding than you’d think. Here’s how I’ve built some of my closest connections online—and why it’s not as weird as it sounds.
1. Start by Being Yourself (No Filter Needed)
Let’s be honest—online spaces can sometimes feel like the wild west of filters and highlight reels. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to present a polished, flawless version of yourself to make friends. But here’s the thing: the real connections happen when you show up as your authentic self, even if that means admitting you’re still wearing pajamas at 2 PM.
When I first started connecting with people online, I tried to be “perfect.” You know, perfectly curated posts, perfectly witty comments, perfectly perfect… but here’s the catch—perfect isn’t relatable. What changed the game for me was when I stopped pretending to have it all together. I shared my messy moments, my struggles, and my wins (the real ones, not just the Instagrammable ones), and that’s when people started to reach out. And guess what? The conversations went deeper than, “Love your feed!” They became real, meaningful talks that led to genuine friendships.
2. Engage (And Not Just with Emojis)
One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to build friendships online is thinking a quick double-tap and a fire emoji are enough to create connection. Sure, it’s a nice way to acknowledge someone’s post, but let’s be real: lasting friendships need more than just cute reactions.
If you want to build real connections, you’ve got to engage—like, actually talk to people. When I come across a post that resonates with me, I take a few extra seconds to leave a meaningful comment or slide into the person’s DMs with something thoughtful. It’s not about being clever or forcing a conversation; it’s about being genuine. Ask questions, share your experiences, and let the conversation flow naturally.
I’ve had some of the best heart-to-hearts start with a simple, “Hey, I’ve been there too!” or “This post really hit home for me.” Before you know it, you’re chatting like old friends.
3. Find Your People (Spoiler: They’re Out There)
The beauty of the internet is that no matter what your interests are, there’s a community for it. Whether you’re into books, parenting, fitness, blogging, or even a niche hobby like knitting tiny sweaters for cats (no judgment), there’s an online group waiting for you.
When I started connecting with people in my niche—content creation, motherhood, personal branding—I found so many like-minded souls who “got it.” They understood the struggles, the victories, and the balancing act that comes with this life. We started chatting in groups, commenting on each other’s posts, and pretty soon, these interactions turned into full-blown friendships.
So, my advice? Don’t be afraid to join groups that align with your passions. You’ll find your people, and it’ll feel like you’ve known them forever.
4. Be Vulnerable (It’s Not as Scary as It Sounds)
Vulnerability online can feel like a big, scary leap. But trust me, it’s one of the fastest ways to create meaningful connections. When you share your real struggles, your doubts, your highs and lows, you open the door for others to say, “Hey, I’ve been there too.”
I can’t tell you how many friendships have blossomed because I decided to open up about something I was going through—whether it was the challenges of motherhood, work-life balance, or just feeling overwhelmed. The responses I got weren’t just surface-level; people started opening up to me in return. And that’s when the magic happens.
Vulnerability creates trust, and trust builds friendships. When you give people permission to be themselves by being real with them, you create a space where meaningful connection can thrive.
5. Move Beyond the Screen
Yes, online friendships can be real without ever meeting in person, but if you want to take it to the next level, don’t be afraid to move beyond the screen. Schedule virtual coffee dates, FaceTime catch-ups, or even plan to meet IRL if the opportunity presents itself (safely, of course!).
One of my closest online friends and I started as Instagram DMs and then moved to regular Zoom hangouts where we chat about life, work, and everything in between. And let me tell you, it feels just like having coffee with a local friend—except we’re hundreds of miles apart.
And if meeting in person is possible? Even better. I’ve had the joy of meeting online friends at conferences, meetups, or just on spontaneous road trips. Those moments when you finally meet someone face-to-face and it feels like you’ve known them forever? Priceless.
6. Nurture the Friendship (Just Like You Would Offline)
Friendships—whether online or offline—take effort. Just like with any friendship, it’s important to nurture the relationship. Check in on each other, celebrate wins, offer support during tough times, and be there for the little things. It’s those consistent, meaningful interactions that build a lasting connection.
Whether it’s sending a quick DM to see how someone’s day is going, dropping a voice note to share a funny story, or tagging them in a post you know they’ll love, those small gestures go a long way in keeping the friendship strong.
The Bottom Line
Building meaningful friendships online is absolutely possible, and if you’re open, genuine, and intentional, those friendships can be just as strong (if not stronger) than your in-person connections. From engaging with real conversation, finding your tribe, and being vulnerable, to taking those relationships beyond the screen, the internet has created endless possibilities for genuine connection.
So, the next time someone tells you that online friendships aren’t “real,” just smile and think of all the amazing people you’ve connected with who’ve become your true friends, even if you’ve never met face-to-face. Because the power of friendship isn’t defined by physical distance—it’s built on shared experiences, mutual support, and a whole lot of heart.
So, here’s to building those meaningful online friendships. You never know who might slide into your DMs and become your next lifelong friend. ✨
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