I can’t believe I’m writing this, but my maternity leave is coming to an end. I always knew this day would come, but it’s still surreal to think that in a matter of days, I’ll be leaving my little one to head back to work. As a first-time mom, this last week of leave has been such a mix of emotions—joy, anxiety, a bit of guilt, and maybe a dash of excitement (weirdly enough).
A Rollercoaster of Emotions
This past week has been full of "lasts"—the last time I can lounge in my PJs all day while cradling my baby without worrying about emails or meetings. The last time I can watch their little face sleep as the afternoon sunlight filters through the windows. The last time I can spontaneously take a nap when the baby does (let’s be real, I’ll miss this the most!).
But along with these sweet moments, there’s the creeping anxiety of returning to work. Will my baby adjust to being cared for by someone else? Will I be able to focus at work without constantly thinking about how they’re doing? How am I supposed to balance all of this?
The Guilt Is Real
If I’m honest, there’s also this nagging mom guilt. I know I’m going back to work because it's necessary for my family, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Part of me feels like I’m missing out on precious moments, and I worry about all the "firsts" I might not witness in person.
But I’m reminding myself that so many parents do this—and their kids grow up happy, healthy, and totally loved. It’s okay for me to work and still be a great mom. I keep telling myself that over and over like a little mantra.
Trying to Savor Every Moment
This week, I’ve made it a point to soak up every cuddle, every giggle, and even every little meltdown (well, sort of). I’ve taken a million photos and videos, knowing that I’ll scroll through them during lunch breaks just to get my baby fix. I’m also sneaking in some self-care moments to prepare to re-enter the world of sales and adult networking - a massage, a manicure, and some time to get my thoughts together.
It’s funny how time works. During those long, sleepless nights in the beginning, I felt like I’d never reach the end of this leave. But now, it feels like it flew by. My baby has changed so much already, and I’m in awe of how fast they’re growing. I want to remember every little detail of this stage, even though I know that’s impossible.
Looking Forward (and a Little Backward)
As much as I’m dreading the transition, there’s a small part of me that wonders if it won’t be as bad as I fear. I’ll have more incentive to get dressed in the mornings (I love my #OOTDs), and I’ll be able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee. I’m also hoping my social skills will slowly come back after pretty much only talking to my mom, my husband, and my baby for ten weeks.
I know it’ll be tough, but I’m trying to focus on the positives. My baby will be fine, and I’ll be fine too. The hard part is trusting that everything will work out, even if it takes time to adjust.
So, here we are—my last week of maternity leave. It’s been an incredible, exhausting, and beautiful journey. And while part of me wishes I could freeze time, the other part is ready to see what this next chapter holds.
To all the mamas out there in the same boat, you’ve got this. Women are so resilient. Mothers are so tough- we’ll find a way to navigate this next season.
Cheers to the next adventure. 💖
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